Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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