I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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