I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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