I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
