Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
