Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
