Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
