My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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