she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
