dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
