Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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