I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
