before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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