i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
