Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
