nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
