GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
