So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Randomize
