Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
