There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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