chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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