i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
