Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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