I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
