3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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