I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
