morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm just crazy horny about you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
