Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
