...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I've blown a few things in my day
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
