I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
