Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
