Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
