Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Say something about gay babies.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
