On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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