I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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