I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
