ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Congratulations! We have a period
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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