it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
