I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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