do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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