I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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