Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
