three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
