Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
