Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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