This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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