so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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