The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
