Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
