so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
